My wife no longer wants to be affectionate with me – I feel rejected

Dear Abby: I have been married for over 20 years to my best friend. She is the love of my life. We’ve been through a lot together and we’ve been through it Couples counseling For eight months. We were on the verge of divorce last year due to an affair I had seven years ago. (She had a similar distraction last year.)

We are friends and do everything together. I try to do everything right. I’m there for her emotionally. I stopped drinking every day and gained a positive, mindful and kind mindset. I got myself into good shape physically. I make a good living, help with the housework, make dinner for all of us and help with the kids’ appointments and activities.

The problem? My wife has physically withdrawn from me. Anything beyond hugs and kisses is too much for her. Physical intimacy occurs less than once a month. I feel lonely in my home because I thrive on touch and affection but receive none. I love my wife and I don’t want to be with anyone else. The advisor says things “may” turn around “in time.” In the meantime, how can I function when I feel unwanted and rejected on a daily basis? – The forgotten husband in the south

Dear husband: You have my sympathy. It’s possible that as much as you and your spouse love each other, you’re better friends than spouses. Because after eight months of… Consult with your wife Nothing has changed, there are no gestures of affection and you feel lonely in your home, it is time to find your own therapist. Clearly, joint counseling was not helpful.

Dear Abby: How do I get my daughter-in-law, Darlene, to clean her place herself? I live at home, pay the rent and help with the bills, but she constantly creates a mess in the kitchen and everywhere else. She fills the sink with dishes every day and never washes the pots and pans, to the point where I can’t use the kitchen to cook. Darlene doesn’t work and has nothing to do all day but create a disaster and wait for me or my son (her husband) to clean up after her.

My son and I both work full time. He does all the washing, cleaning and cooking. If I say anything, Darlene gets defensive and makes all kinds of excuses why she can’t. (It’s pure laziness.) If I say anything to my son, he defends her because she whines and cries about how “tired” she is and claims to have all kinds of ailments (her stomach hurts, or she’s on her period, or just really tired). She stays up late every night and can’t get up to take my grandson to school, so my son does that every day.

I’m at my wits end, but I don’t want to create an environment where Darlene ignores me and turns my son against me. Helps! – An imbalance in the south

Dear out of balance: You can’t change the unhealthy dynamic in your son’s home unless he and his wife agree to do so. From what I’ve written, that’s unlikely to happen. Be glad you’re fully employed, because the healthiest situation for you is to make other living arrangements.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.